Tag Archive for "Satire"

Hugh Hefner Will Bring New NFL Franchise To LA

“It is with a great deal of excitement and frankly with a little bit of relief that I can announce that Hugh Hefner will be bringing football back to the City of Los Angeles,” National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell announced in a press conference just a few minutes ago.  “The Jacksonville Jaguars will relocate…
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Rand Paul, Nancy Pelosi Announce Formation Of Joint PAC

“We quite literally ran into each other in the halls of Congress and helped each other pick up the files we were carrying – that led to lunch, and before we realized it we had discovered a significant amount of common ground,” said the libertarian Kentucky Senator Rand Paul today at a press conference called…
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Obama Admits He Was Born In Kenya

  Startling the world, President Obama openly admitted today that he was born in Kenya.  “I have always thought American birth was an inappropriate requirement for a President and I think that my effectiveness over the past four years has demonstrated this,” the President said while flashes from the storm of photography illuminated him.  “Whether…
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Fly In Air Force One For As Little As $1,000

  Announcing the launch of the new federally funded ObamaAir program, Presidential spokesman Jay Carney laid out a program that will allow Obama supporters to fly in Air Force One for as little as $1,000.  ”Most people do not realize that there are actually four different planes that make up the Air Force One fleet,”…
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NBA Sued For Racism, Lack Of Diversity

  Startling allegations were released as statistical analysis showed an incredible lack of diversity in the National Basketball Association.  Current reports show that 78% of all NBA players are African American while only 17% were white, 4% Latino and 1% Asian.  (NBA)  These number are at such variance with national averages in the general population…
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Obama Confirms Bush Responsible For Super Bowl Power Shortage

During the midst of the partial power outage at the New Orleans Super Dome, President Obama issued a statement indicating that he had photographic evidence that Former President Bush was responsible.  ”We have an eyewitness that will testify that she saw President Bush lurking in the shadows near the power box that caused the lights…
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Lance Armstrong Relinquishes 2005 Tour De France Title To Joseph Kettler

  Following his not to startling revelations on Oprah Winfrey yesterday, cycling’s governing body, which had already stripped Armstrong of his 1999-2005 Tour De France titles, began to name winners for each of the vacated titles.  The task proved far more difficult than Tour organizers had anticipated.  “We called cyclist after cyclist to let them…
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Top 10 Thinking Right Stories For 2012

   Operating only since September 1, 2012, Thinking Right generated 176,134 hits during its first four months of existence.  34 different stories generated at least 1,000 hits and the number and quality of comments was generally pretty good.  All in all I am very happy with the start.  First up is the top ten list…
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Santa Claus Slammed By ACLU With Civil Rights Law Suit

  Filing a 167 page complaint today in Federal District Court in New York, the American Civil Liberties Union (“ACLU”) alleged that Santa Claus has violated both the federal Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Equal Protection Clause of the United States Constitution.  “This is one of the most egregious patterns of behavior we…
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Obama To Be Added To Mt. Rushmore – Park Service Confirms

  In an action that I can only describe as tragic, the United State National Park Service announced today that it has contracted to add the face of President Obama to the Mount Rushmore National Memorial near Rapid City, South Dakota.  Evidently secret negotiations between the Park Service and the private donors sponsoring the addition…
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FBI Election Panic – Voting Machines Vote Only Obama – Traced To Romney Son

  In a story much like s Shakespearian tragedy, FBI officials are closing in on a gang of election riggers that may well have thrown the election President Obama’s way.  More than 206 electoral votes my change from the Obama column to the Romney column by the time that this investigation is done.  ”This was…
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Biologists Busily Herding Sharks Out Of Subways, Off Of Streets of New York, New Jersey

  A well prepared Northern East Coast survived brutal hurricane Sandy and are now assessing the damages.  Perhaps hit the hardest, New York City is struggling to deal with an unforeseen problem – how to herd sharks out of its subways and off of its streets.  ”We hadn’t really prepared for this one contingency,” said…
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