Obama Admits He Was Born In Kenya


Startling the world, President Obama openly admitted today that he was born in Kenya.  “I have always thought American birth was an inappropriate requirement for a President and I think that my effectiveness over the past four years has demonstrated this,” the President said while flashes from the storm of photography illuminated him.  “Whether you are American or Kenyan has nothing to do with your ability to form America’s future.”

“Because I felt it was so unimportant we used our usual technique of trivializing anyone who challenged my status with the dismissive moniker ’birther.’  Once the public decides that a group of people are crackpots, it really takes no effort to beat back their claims,” the President continued.  “We will now be seeking to change this silly requirement retroactively to bring the facts back into compliance with the law.  Face it, by the time anyone can now bring a challenge to this I will be done with my second term so there is really no practical reason to fight it.”

After President Obama departed the stage, his Press Secretary Jay Carney took over, “what is really sad is that these birthers weren’t really even right in their facts.  We have completely eliminated any evidence of any birth certificate or contradictory college records so there is nothing to find.  Hopefully we will be able to put this behind us and move forward with the President’s suggested “Obamaqualifications Act.”

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