Imaginary Grenade Thrown At Imaginary Evil Box Results In Second Grader Suspension

Seven year old Alex Watkins slowly crept around the jungle gym carefully looking for sentries protecting the evil box.  Seeing that the enemy’s guard was down, Alex leapt to his feet and hurled the grenade at the box destroying it and in one smooth step, saving the world.  That is what happened in the mind of the second grader at Mary Blair Elementary School in Loveland, Colorado.  Since the beginning of time little boys have tilted at imaginary beasts, dragons and other evils expressing and exploring their creativity.  Unfortunately using your imagination is grounds for suspension at the Colorado elementary school.  (Colorado)


Like most ridiculous “zero tolerance” rules which take all discretion out of the student discipline process, Mary Blair Elementary has a series of  “absolutes” that are clearly anti-male and anti-creativity.

The rules are laid out by Mary Blair Elementary School in a list of “absolutes” that are posted on the school’s website and are aimed at making Mary Blair a safe environment.  Included in those absolutes are no physical abuse or fighting – real or play – and the no-weapons absolute also covers real or play weapons.  District policy does not prohibit imaginary weapons, but Superintendent Stan Scheer said individual schools are permitted to add enhancements to the general student code of conduct.  (Colorado)
Parent Mandie Watkins said Mary Blair principal Valerie Lara-Black called her Friday afternoon to inform her that her second-grade son, Alex, had been suspended for throwing an imaginary grenade during recess on the playground.  Alex did not have anything in his hand at the time and made no threats toward other people, Watkins reportedly was told.  Watkins said Alex’s story matched up with the principal’s account: He threw the pretend grenade at an imaginary box that had something evil inside.  “He is very confused,” Watkins told the Reporter-Herald on Tuesday. “I’m confused as well, so it makes it hard for me to enforce these rules when I don’t even understand them.”
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