California Bans Mother’s Day As Sexist


Declaring celebration of Mother’s Day sexist, the California Department of Health and Human Services has proposed regulations that would criminalize the celebration.  “There is simply no way around this one,” comment Marjorie Deguaratype, director of the social relations division of DHHS.  “We have been closing our eyes and looking the other way for a long time, but we just can’t let this for of blatant sexism flourish and worse yet, let corporations profit.”

The five year, $456,030,000 study leading to the ban was supported by the Social Science Research Network, a group whose primary goal is to remove “offensive” material from the Internet.  “The celebration of “Motherhood” is widely offensive to large population groups including those wishing to have children but no being able to, those with bad relations with their mothers, orphans and those simply against Hallmark profiting from another “day” created whole cloth to pump card purchase . .  . We just could not let this travesty continue.”

California State Assemblymen Sonci Degiorno took up the cause at the Assemply level, “People need to understand that they can’t simply have a holiday that offends part of the population.  I’ve seen the numbers and there is at lest 3.2% of the population that is offended by the celebration of Mothers Day.”  When asked about the 96.8% of the population that supported or celebrated mothers day, Assemplyman Degiorno said “I am tired of the majority thinking that they can just stomp all over the will of the minority.”

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